Sarah -- Comfort for the soul

This week's portion seems to be misleadingly named "Sarah." It's not about her, per se. She dies at the end of the previous portion and this portion is more about Abraham securing a burial site for her and a wife for their son Isaac.

This seems to be more about the need for comfort. Abraham finds a place where he can lay the remains of his wife. Why do this? Out of respect for the dead? Perhaps. But I think it's more for Abraham's comfort. With her safely entombed in the cave at Machpelah, he can take some comfort in knowing that her earthly remains are nearby.

I don't mean to belittle that by saying I understand that feeling from how I felt when my last dog died; he was my first dog who was my own, rather than one of the ones I grew up with along with my brothers and sisters. When it was time for Nigel to go, I was in a very dark place (see my commentary on B'reishit for a little more on THAT subject) and it layered yet one more heap of grief on a life that seemed to be over-flowing with it at the time. When Nigel was put down, he was cremated, and a discussion was had as to where to spread his ashes. I didn't want to spread them anywhere. I needed Nigel nearby, even if it was only ashes. And those ashes are still with me, in a cedar box that has his nametag on the lock. I now have two more dogs that I love dearly, but it still gives me some comfort to have Nigel's earthly remains with me. It seems silly, actually. That's not Nigel. That's not Nigel at all. But it's all I have that used to be him, and I still love him to this day and I want that with me.

After Sarah is buried, Abraham instructs his servant to find a wife for Isaac. The servant is sent to Abraham's home town where he meets Rebekah who agrees to go back with him. They see each other and fall in love. And Torah tells us that Isaac was comforted by Rebekah following the death of his mother. Torah tells us it is not good to suffer alone. A lesson I never seem to learn. When I am depressed or just lonely, I don't reach out much for comfort. Instead, I try to bury myself in busy-ness. Do this, do that; watch this movie, listen to that cd. I don't ever call anyone just to say hi and catch up. I am afraid to bother anyone because I don't think I'm worth the bother. But I would be very upset if I learned that any of my friends or family didn't call me when they were feeling like that. Of COURSE they're worth it and it's no bother. When they tell me the same, I thank them, but still don't try it.

So, in a way, though seemingly absent from the parshah that bears her name, I think Sarah is fairly present. She has so affected her husband that he must find a suitable place for her remains so he will always know where she is. That's comforting. And her son grew up to be a caring man who was not afraid to seek comfort from others. Also, Isaac was the only patriarch who was married monogamously. It's never stated how women of the Bible felt about being one of several wives, but could it be that Sarah was maybe not so fond of it and instilled in Isaac some sense that he should love and care for one woman? Who knows, really? But it's a nice thought.

Shalom rav!
Lev